real life

Had dinner with my Annie on Friday, as she was in town for a brief spell. Annie and I are friends from the good ole days on the BYU Ballet company, where we spent approximately eight hours per day together. Its a testament to our friendship that we actually became roomies AFTER going through that together. Annie and I can talk. I mean really talk. We talked and talked over dinner until they kicked us out of the restaurant because they were closing, so naturally we went out to her car where we talked and talked more. Of course we solved all of the world's problems. Mostly we talked about mothering though, specifically how it has been different (in both positive and negative ways) from our expectations. Of course we've both found that it is entirely different than we had supposed, but of course somehow its still better. Stretch marks, crushed cherrios that stick to your feet when you walk across the floor, never ending laundry, the unglamorousness of it all --much better than the Stepford Wives version we had envisioned for ourselves. Also we talked about how we've both learned that its much easier to enjoy once you throw those expectations out the window.....Isaac is almost three and some days I still have a hard time letting go of those expectations, but for the most part I am trying to revel in real life.


Speaking of the unglamorousness of it....remember how I said Ike was really in to finger-painting? Well no finger paints could be found the other day --but since necessity is the mother of invention he found that a cube of butter (from the butter tray that had been left on the table) worked just fine!

Man alive I love this boy!

four boys two moms

Got together with my friend Jeanette this week for a play date and mini-photo shoot. Nettie and I have been friends since the seventh grade, which is pretty impressive on her part since I didn't even like myself in the teen years and yet she managed to keep liking me. If you know Jeanette you know that its because she can like just about anyone.

Our lives have had some odd parallels the way friends lives sometimes do -- we both met our loves when we were young in college even though I don't think either one of us planned on getting married that young. We were bridesmaids for each other and seven years later we both have two little boys. Which is kind of funny because Nettie and I are pretty girlie girls -- we like to sew and bake and neither of us is very proficient in any type of sport.

So on friday we had lunch and some fun conversation with babies on our laps while Isaac chased Alex around the house giggling and screaming -- in some ways I actually felt very transported back to those lunches in the junior high lunchroom, I guess boys really don't mature much at all from the toddler phase until they are out of high school? I posted a few pictures from the morning on my photoblog, but this photo is probably my favorite because Jeanette is the absolute most doting and sweet mom and this photo reminds me of it (and perhaps I am drawn to this pose in general since I love photos that show parents interacting with their children in a genuine manner). Thanks again for the visit, Nette.

today......

I am:

(I think the neighbor boy had it right yesterday when he asked if I was hiding two watermelons and a basketball under my shirt)

This week has been busy. But the most singular thing that has happened is that I bade a rainy-day farewell to Annie. It sucked....and I don't like to use that word because I can always hear my mother in my head telling me that it is unladylike to use the word suck as slang, but there is just no other word for it. I repeat: it sucked!

(this image is stolen from her blog, but I love it because every time I think of Annie one of my first thoughts is what a good mom she is)

I first met Annie about eight years ago (eek! we are getting old) when we spent every waking hour dancing for the ballet company at BYU together. Since I had so much fun spending most of my day with her, it seemed natural that we should be roomies the next fall (luckily Carrie obliged and let me move in). However, we didn't live together too long, because before we knew it Annie had "got herself engaged," which wasn't really a shocker to anyone and moved out of the state. Luckily things have a way of coming full circle and Annie (this time with Ty and two lovely girls in tow) moved back to Utah a few years ago and I once again was spoiled by having her close by. And I was spoiled indeed.

We went on double dates (and lots of triples with the Jensens!). We worked out together every morning at early-thirty for many months when babies & bed rest didn't interfere. We went to ballets together. We went on diets together and then broke our diets with lots of yummy lunches. We had play dates in the park. She coached me through getting Ike on a sleep schedule and served as my "mothering" mentor in more ways than she knows. We shared lots and lots and lots of books and even more conversations about them. We took a gardening class together and spent a good share of the time whispering back and forth about big plans for our future gardens. And mostly we just had lots of wonderful long leisurely conversations as we watched our kids play.

And I'm utterly depressed that she is gone. I may even be in denial. Yep definitely in denial.

Perhaps I am being a bit overdramatic, she did not die, but simply moved. But I've been so spoiled with having her only 8 minutes away that I feel like acting like a spoiled 20 month old child (whose name may or may not rhyme with "disaac") who breaks down into tears and falls to the floor arms and legs flailing when their favorite toy is taken away. In fact, I may have gone right ahead and thrown the aforementioned tantrum if it wasn't so darn difficult to get up and down right now (see top photo).

Some of the things I love about Annie is that she is hilarious, and down-to-earth, kind, smart, beautiful, and has amazing taste in all of my favorite things (food, clothes, houses, books, art, etc.), and pretty much just all around awesome. Annie, I miss you already and I don't even believe you've really left.

Cool by association....

Probably you don't remember when I voiced a desire to design fabric, of course it was more of a pipe dream than anything else and I never took one step to do anything of the sort; however, someone infinitely more talented than myself has actually recently become one -- I mean a real deal designer with her fabric in shops & everything. Meet my friend Melissa, who is entirely too talented for her own good. She recently designed a fabric line with her sister and you can buy it at one of my favorite online retailers: the Fat Quarter Shop and double bonus -- Melissa is actually one of the coolest girls around, she's one of those one who just have it all -- the talent & the cool factor. I have been drooling over her designs all day & someday if I (fingers crossed) do indeed have a little girl, I do believe the pink umbrella fabric may be sheer perfection for her bedding! Is it bad karma if I buy some in hopes that someday I do? Don't want to jinx myself more than I already have.....I promise I really really really am excited for boy number 2, I'm talking about the elusive someday here people. Anyways, hats off to Melissa, I feel more talented just getting to rub shoulders with you and it was so much fun with you here last week in the U.C. -- Dang it why is Texas so far away?

Awesome-ness by Mel

Jordan and I had dinner with lovely Mel & John and adorable Jack last week (what a treat, seriously John makes some mean salmon!) It was so fun to get together and see the little Chubster, Jack -he makes Isaac look like a string bean! I'm pretty lucky to have one of my bestest friends have a baby three days before me, as Isaac and Jack are at exactly the same stage it was so fun to visit about all the baby things that are probably only entertaining to people with new babes. As this was our first get together post-baby Mel had a little gift for me, custom designed nursery art by her fabulous self (me thinks she could make a killing on etsy selling her lovely designs)! Anyway, I have a white door that is over a secret cubby in Ike's room all prepared for the art, but have to get the mounting materials, in the meantime I have them just above Isaac's changing table (as pictured above) and every time I go to change my babe it puts a big smile on my face. This morning as I was smiling away I thought I'd share with everyone 10 awesome things about my friend Mel!


1. Mel is tall like me! (first of all I should indicate by putting this number one it is by no means the best thing about Mel, just what I happened to list first). Now I'm not knocking short people....some of my favorite people are short, dare I say very short, (right Carrie! hee hee), but when Mel and I met (which coincidentally was the day she moved into my apartment) I was happy to look her straight in the eye and share that knowing smile only tall girls can understand that says "yes its a pain finding long pants, and why do all the tall guys like short girls, and seriously so what if I still like to wear heels, and yes a tiny part of me loses sleep at night worrying that my future daughters will be freaks of nature way over 6' tall, but what the hay, I'm a tall confident woman." --yes its amazing what you can say with a "knowing smile." Anyway, I don't know if it was our shared height, or just one of the other hundred similarities we have, but Mel and I became instant friends, which after I have gotten to know her isn't surprising since Mel becomes instant friends with a lot of people. (Alright Alright, for clarification number one is technically that Mel can become instant friends with anyone).
2. Mel loves the arts! She is my symphony, opera, ballet, and all things cultural buddy. Whenever an Opera or symphony would catch my eye, I would think to myself, oooh I need to figure out when Mel and I can go see that. And we would. One of my favorite memories with Mel is going to the Opera and then enjoying some good eats at Benihanas.
3. Mel sings pretty (and plays the cello....and the piano....okay okay she is downright musical!) I can fully appreciate this as someone who is not musical herself. In fact when we lived together and would go to church together sometimes I would stand next to Mel singing and just mouth the words and hope that someone would think her pretty voice was mine.
4. Mel loves all things Asia. I don't know if it started with her mission in Mongolia, but Mel has an affinity for most Asian things, (seriously the girl could live off of sushi) and consequently has increased my own admiration.
5. Mel is my musical soul-mate....meaning we like EXACTLY the same thing (we are both proud disciples of Ella), if she recommends something, its good.
6. Mel has mad design skills....not to mention taste. I love her classic style exemplified in everything she creates.
7. Mel is the best at returning emails, and making them long and newsy and funny. Who doesn't love to receive a long newsy, funny, email. When Mel and I were nearing the end of our pregnancies, her emails helped get me through as we both commiserated all the poundage and shared the anticipation of our lovely bundles of joy.
8. Mel isn't afraid to try new things..... a couple of years ago she wanted to go on a vacation to Hawaii, so she did. In fact she was going to go by herself until at the last moment a friend joined her. She wanted to be in a musical, so she did (pregnant belly and all). She wanted to buy herself a flirty purple sports car when she graduated from college, so she did. Love that about her.
9. No one is a better conversationalist than Mel, she has a remarkably broad spectrum of interests and so I never tire of talking to Mel because we can talk about people, books, history, art, movies, friends, religion, family, pretty much anything and she comes across as well informed and fun to listen to, in a phrase, she is captivating.
10. Mel loves John. Mel and I have been friends for quite a few years now and I was privileged to be her friend before and during her courtship, and of course since her marriage to John. It was so fun to watch someone dear to me fall in love, and Mel made it even more fun because she was practically composing love ballads to John in her sleep. I love that I have never heard her say one negative thing about John since the day they started dating, rather it has been all giddy smiles and happy sighs. After getting to know John, I can see they are perfectly matched and they are one of those couples that you just know will be like acting like newlyweds all goo-goo eyed over each other on their fiftieth wedding anniversary.

There are many other wonderful things about Mel, but these are some of my favorites....you can see why I am lucky to be her friend!

People I think "well" of.....Emily Spotlight

I was reading the comments on my P&P post and was struck by Becky's statement that she wished she was more like Jane (BTW Becky, I think you are nearer than most, since I've never heard you "speak ill" of anyone! -at least that I can remember?) and the thought struck me, me too! Really I admire those people that can find positive things about everyone (my Mother-in-law is Jane Bennett Bingley incarnate) and I wish I was more like that. I should be the first to admit that this is not a strong point with me and something I should work on -- I can be far too critical. However, it is definitely true that when I do think "well" of someone, I really do.....I feel passionately that I've had the best husband, family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers on the planet. It also struck me that I'm not very good at telling all these wonderful people just how much I admire them (at least I don't as often as I should)....so while I'm working on looking for the good in the general populace I thought I would also chronicle spotlights of many of my dear ones on the blog to let them know how lucky I count myself to be influenced by them.....I have so many people to write about (I am hopefully going to get to everyone over time) and I didn't know where to start and glanced up from my computer to the bulletin board right above and saw a note I had stuck up there that my friend Emily sent this week and I took it as a sign (is anyone else have flashbacks to Sleepless in Seattle..."you don't believe in signs" -- just me? oh well.....I digress), that she should be first.

Here are 10 things I love about Emily (in no particular order)
1. We literally spent years (years people!) of eight hours days alone in a 10' x 10' office with no windows (unless you count the fishbowl into the hallway) and we never got sick of each other -- at least I didn't get sick of her! I can't remember one fight, but I can remember hundreds and hundreds of jokes, deep conversations (my daily therapy), and songs (yes us singing...bringing down the house!) that made those stressful years bearable!
2. Speaking of serenades, Emily has a gorgeous singing voice, but she would often condescend to sing "off key" with me along to the radio to make me feel better about my lack of vocal prowess....literally we would hit notes only dogs could hear and invariably start laughing like Hyenas (it was definitely a good thing that we were alone in our office and the attorney's we worked for never caught us).
3. Emily is classy. I've never heard her say or do anything remotely tacky and we really spent a great deal of time together.
4. Em has amazing taste in pretty much everything! She really is an aficionado in clothes, (she has more black sweaters than anyone I know), music (she introduced me to India Arie!), books, movies, food, and people -- yes any person I've met that Em has recommended to me has always been a gem-- and pretty much anything else.
5. No one is more funny than my Emily (read her Blog if you don't believe me)....really I've never talked to her for longer than 5 minutes without laughing at some witty remark she has made. She pretty much oozes wit & charisma.
6. Em has this uncanny ability to make me feel like I'm smarter and better than I really am....this is probably due to the fact that she has confided and earnestly asked my opinion about a myriad of things large and small over time.....just that someone so wise and astute as her values my ideas, thoughts, and opinions has been one of the best compliments anyone has ever paid me. Also she has a remarkable memory and will bring up conversations we had years ago, reenforcing once again that she really listens to things I say.
7. She knows how to shake it....shake it like a polaroid picture! (enough said).
8. Emily has true compassion for those around her, I love her genuine concern for others.
9. I love that Emily doesn't take herself too seriously (note exhibit A, of Emily standing with large Indian thigh).
10. Em is a great conversationalist, this year during our Fab four weekend we stayed up until the wee hours talking each night and it made me miss our extra long conversations that we don't get to have as often anymore due to time & space constraints....however, when we do get to chat I love how with Em its perfectly natural to pick right up where we left off with no awkwardness....you can only say that about a true friend.

11. Okay I couldn't limit it to just 10....I could probably do 100, but instead I'll just do 11.......I mentioned earlier that I can't remember one fight with Em, that is indeed true, but that doesn't mean we always think alike, contrarily we have had wonderful discussions about our differing views; however, these have always been fun sparring and interesting conversations that have ended happily....it is a relief to be able to have animated disagreements and part friends (agreeing to disagree and open-minded enough to see that our views aren't right or wrong, just different). When I think about Em's ability to be open-minded I think of that verse in Corinthians about how love doth not take offense.....Em is the friend who isn't offended that you aren't exactly like her, but appreciates you for who you are.